Pants

Real life is currently on hold while I come to terms with the fact that at some point, pants need to happen. Pants really needed to happen this weekend and I'm grateful that I magically fit into the dr.'s sweatpants.

I feel like I've been busy visiting old job haunts, saying hello and catching up with ex-coworkers, commiserating about this awful economy and sending my resume out. I've only been vaguely aware that it is October. This month's fast pass is beige & nude colored. It's hideous. Fall is here and since Fall in SF is really Indian Summer that means it's going to be winter soon enough and winter means pants.

I've spent most of my adult life in skirts. I think it started because I felt the need to advertise to the male population that I was an actual girl and not a manatee in a t-shirt. My freshman year of college was full of regrettable flannel and mens jeans. Years of a catholic school uniform saved me from ever having to dress myself and when the day finally came where I could make a decision on how to creatively express myself through fashion I decided to wear mens thriftstore clothing.

I want to burn pictures from this time.

MC Escher t-shirts and all. Jesus.

This, matched with the fatty pants and glasses that ate my face, I was pretty homely.

After a year of living in Boston, I realized that I could not continue to dress like a boy if I ever wanted one of them to notice me.

Skirts are great. I feel free in them. My thighs need to know that they can contract and expand without the hindrance of fabric limiting their movement. Skirts draw attention to my hammy calves that have never been able to fit into boots. Skirts make me feel pretty even when I feel heinous inside and make me feel badass when paired with knee highs.

Skirts, however, aren't enough for SF winters. I'm glad we're nowhere near having anything as severe as Boston winters, but it does get nippy enough that my naked knees seem to scream at me when the wind blows.

California has made me soft. Simply thinking about snow makes me want to put on a parka.