Monday, May 4, 2009


I skinned it naked to boil its peel with some lemon, ginger and honey. After it cooled I poured it into a glass pitcher and put it in the fridge.

Tomorrow, citrusy goodness will be mine.

But in the meantime, this fragile little skinless orange sits on my counter, naked and vulnerable. It's somewhat squishy in my hands. I promise it I will consume it tomorrow.

I felt rather squishy and vulnerable in bikram this morning. It's basically been a month since I've had a consistent practice and this morning proved that my body is grateful for the work but is still recovering from the onslaught of this most recent sickness.

The heat and humidity in the room felt good on the lungs but had me coughing up more little green monsters, which I am glad to say are getting smaller and smaller in size, but my entire body felt out of whack and discombobulated. Awkward and stiff. Being surrounded by mirrors, there was no escape from watching the horror unfold before me. I wasn't ready to see new fleshy curves in half moon pose.

Once the thought pattern started, I couldn't stop it no matter how hard I tried. There is no hiding anything in stretchy yoga clothes.

I've always craved long limbed gracefulness.

I've always wanted to be lithe, stealth and ninja like.

I want to be the shiny new penny you find in your pocket that you just can't spend. I want to be the love letter you find when you're sweeping out the closet, folded and tucked, full of passion that's frightening, new and innocent.

Somedays, you just want to look like someone else, I guess. I hope tomorrow I'll want to look like me again.

1 comment:

Aunt Bee said...

"I've always craved long limbed gracefulness." Me too. I've got the long limbs, but I painfully lack the grace. Sometimes I make believe, but then I just end up cracking myself up, generally in public, so there I am, all dressed up, and laughing alone on the subway like a crazy person. We work with what we've got, I guess.